Have you ever walked out of a meeting thinking you were clear, only to discover later that your team left confused or disengaged? Business owners often believe they are communicating one thing while the people around them experience something very different. That gap is where leadership struggles usually begin and self-awareness is the bridge that closes it.
Psychologists define self-awareness as the ability to notice your thoughts, emotions, and behaviour in real time. Neuroscience shows that when leaders build this skill, the brain’s prefrontal cortex the part responsible for judgment and decision making functions more effectively. Put simply, the more aware you are of your own patterns, the better you can lead others with clarity and consistency.
I once coached a founder who prided himself on being “direct.” He believed his blunt style saved time and prevented confusion. But his employees quietly described him as unpredictable and intimidating. When he finally observed his own tone and body language during conversations, he realised he wasn’t being direct he was being dismissive. That moment of awareness allowed him to adjust, and within months, employee turnover dropped while team engagement rose.
So how do you build this level of awareness? You don’t need a PhD or hours of spare time. You just need consistent, intentional practice. Here are three ways to start:
- Pause Before You Speak
In tense moments, take a single breath before responding. This small pause activates the brain’s control centre and helps you choose words more thoughtfully. - Ask for Honest Feedback
Once a week, ask one trusted team member: “How did I come across in that meeting?” Listen without defending yourself. The goal is data, not justification. - Reflect in Writing
At the end of the day, jot down one interaction that went well and one that could have gone better. Over time, patterns will emerge that you can act on.
The real advantage of self-awareness is not perfection, it’s progress. When you notice how your actions land, you gain the ability to adjust quickly. That agility builds trust, and trust is the currency of effective leadership. The next time you finish a meeting, resist the urge to assume you were understood. Instead, ask yourself, “How might I have been experienced?” That single question could be the difference between a leader who talks at people and a leader who inspires them.
If you are committed to strengthening your leadership and building a culture that sustains performance, I invite you to take the next step. You can schedule a call with me to discuss coaching, consulting, or workshops that align with your business needs. You can also download my ebook A Leaders Way – The Psychology Behind Great Leadership here. For regular insights on leadership and resilience, follow me on LinkedIn.