People who struggle to rest are not lazy or broken. They are often carrying patterns of survival that once kept them safe. If you can’t stop working, your body may have linked resting with danger. Your mind might see rest as losing control, being rejected, or failing. So you keep working because it feels safer than doing nothing.
This often begins in early experiences where approval came through performance. Love might have arrived only when you were achieving or helping. Over time, the brain linked worth with usefulness. So when you stop, the body interprets it as threat. Your heart races, thoughts speed up, and you find yourself searching for the next thing to fix or improve. What looks like ambition is often a nervous system trying to feel safe.
You learned that resting wasn’t safe. Rest once brought punishment, disappointment, or being ignored. So you built a version of yourself that always keeps going. As an adult, especially as an entrepreneur, that habit can run on its own because people admire your drive. But the same pattern that once protected you can quietly wear you out now. Without rest, you lose access to creativity and emotional regulation. You react instead of respond. You perform instead of connect.
If your early bonds were inconsistent, your body learned to stay alert to keep connection alive. In business, that translates to being on call to everyone. You overextend to maintain closeness and approval. The more you accomplish, the more approval you get, and the pattern continues. Taking a break feels risky because your sense of worth depends on staying productive.
Taking a break is not just a behavioural change. It is an identity shift. It asks you to believe you are still worthy when you are not producing. It asks you to trust that the world will not fall apart if you step away. This kind of trust must be rebuilt slowly through experience, not just insight.
A practical thing to do today is choose one small moment, perhaps five minutes, where you intentionally do nothing productive. Notice the urge to move or think about work. Sit, breathe, or look out a window as far as you can. This begins to rewire the nervous system to associate mindfulness with safety.
Resting is not being lazy. It is rehabilitation for a mind and body that have confused exhaustion with success.
Jonathan Riley is a Leadership Strategist and Executive Advisor who brings psychological insight to the art of leadership. Author of The Boundaries Bible, The Antidote to Burnout, and A Leader’s Way, he helps leaders work smarter, lead deeper, and sustain excellence.